David Beckham – who cares if he’s a cheater? He’s hot and romantic and generous with his money… so what if he shags a nanny or a Spanish skank now and again? It’s the cosmetics of a marriage that matter the most, non?

Of course it is. It’s the cosmetics of any situation that Mrs Beckham lives for. This is why we love her. This is why she’s Posh. This is also why the details of their “secret” second wedding were somehow leaked to the UK tabloids.

It happened on March 8, 2006 – almost exactly a year after Cruz was born. The baby they frantically made immediately after his infidelity scandal as a huge f&ck you to those calling for their demise.

According to sources, David apparently “arranged” the entire ceremony by himself, surprising Victoria in Madrid and flying her back to their home in Hertfordshire. Once they arrived, he took a knee and proposed all over again. She tearfully said “yes” (do you love how they had to include this detail? What the F&CK else would she say???)

And what would she wear??? Naturally, it was the most important detail. And David did not disappoint. He had a white dress made to fit her, flew in close family and friends, and had their boys Brooklyn and Romeo fitted for the occasion too. The cake, the flowers, no detail was spared and Victoria wept from happiness, basking in the joy of another perfect day to commemorate their love – a day that they managed to keep “concealed” from the press.

Until now.

Are you Rossuming? If so, hold it back a few because it’s not over.

Then to Paris – where he took his wife shopping, decorating a suite filled with flower petals after which they marked their union with a tattoo bearing the date.

NOW you can Rossum.

Attached – the Beckhams in full in New York enjoying a Broadway show this weekend to celebrate Cruz’s birthday. Must have those blue Louboutins for my Oscar dress.