David Beckham was supposed to sign with Paris Saint-Germain and play in Europe again. I mean it was sounding like a done deal for weeks, even before he led the LA Galaxy to the MLS championship. Now PSG has confirmed (they sound disappointed) that Becks has walked away from the contract, preferring instead to stay in LA so as not to uproot his family. Some say the club released that particular version of events to help Beckham save face, that in the end they didn’t think he could play high level football anymore. (If there is anything smutty to do with this story, this is the version I consider to be most believable.) As such, Becks is now renegotiating with the Galaxy for another one year term. Still others, of course, blame it on Victoria. She’s a ballbusting bitch and she didn’t want to leave all her Hollywood friends and is holding him back from playing for the French team and burn her alive, why don’t we because what a selfish piece of sh-t she is, goddamn it.

Well f-ck. F-ck them for making me defend her.

She has moved her ass several times for his career. Can you really see her putting up a stink about Paris? Can you actually see Posh pouting about having to relocate... to Paris??? And besides, I thought Family First was the thing to do. I thought we were all stroller-obsessed and quick to parent-judge. Wouldn’t staying in LA for the stability of the family be exactly the right move? Or are Daddy’s dreams more important?

You know me. I always want to believe the worst in celebrities. So of course if there was any possibility that Paris isn’t happening anymore because David f-cked the French First Lady, or a seamstress at the House of Chanel, I’d be evangelising that sh-t all over town. Unfortunately I can’t find it. And the thing is, I actually believe that the Beckhams, given the age now of their boys, don’t want to uproot them from the life they now know in America.

Sorry. I’m as disappointed as you are.