My mother the Chinese Squawking Chicken has an expression about a person’s sh-t. She says if you have some in your past, you carry it around in your handbag, doesn’t matter if it’s a Chanel, it’ll always smell like a knock-off.

She usually means it when referring to some low classy village skank who might be able to afford designer but can’t really pull it off, but it could also be applied to a philanderer, in this case David Beckham. Because while he may be suing In Touch and the prostitute who claims she f-cked him five times in 2007, and while he may be innocent in his counter claims, the problem is that he was unfaithful before. And this is the saying that wasn’t coined by my ma: once a cheater... xyz.

It follows you everywhere. It’s why we’re inclined to believe the infidelity. It’s why, unfortunately for him, even if he’s vindicated in the end, and he very well could be, he won’t soon win, at least not by landslide, the battle of public opinion.

David did try to make us forget though. By being really hot and taking his shirt off playing for the Galaxy the other night and then the last couple of days, with son Brooklyn, promoting the football festival in Trinidad. He also really turned me on while reacting to a heckler the other day. The heckler yelled at him to stop messing around with hookers. Becks swung his penis around and fronted like he wanted to throw down. I don’t mind his voice so much when he’s getting all chestbumpy with it. Click here to watch.


Photos from Whittle/Splashnewsonline.com