Becks tells British GQ that he’ll never act, never star in a movie. 

Oh baby… you promise? 

He says for sure, for sure: 

"What film career? I haven't got one. Never say never, except about that! And that's the way it's going to stay."

Can you tell your wife too? 

David also tells the magazine what he and Tom Cruise do when they’re hanging out: 

"He came round for dinner a few weeks ago. But it's the same with him. We just go round and watch a film. It's not a big deal, it's just popping round to watch a film or to mess around and play with the kids."

Ummm… what exactly does “mess around” mean? Does it mean learning about Xenu? 

Becks says no:

"I respect any person's religion. Everybody's got their own ideas. And, of course, Tom is a big believer in Scientology, but he's never pushed anything on to us about it and he never will do. Friends don't do that."

True…

Only he’s not his friend. What he is is the dude who tries to rope in the Golden Balls by the pool and eyes him lasciviously when he bends over. He’s also the recruitment officer. And he is lying in wait for the perfect time to bring in the Beckhams. 

The perfect time is crisis time which may come sooner rather than later. 

As you know, David is on his way to Italy this winter to play for AC Milan. Word is, Victoria will not join him, preferring instead to stay in LA with their children so as not to disrupt their schooling…supposedly. They are planning then to meet up once every two weeks at Beckingham Palace in Hertfordshire. 

Oh trouble.

You remember what happened last time he spent too much time by himself in Spain, right? 

Rebecca Loos? The affair? The scrunchy? And the text messages? The text messages were f-cking amazing. AMAZING. Just for fun, let’s revisit Rebecca’s account of the very first time: 

“My heart was racing as his lips touched mine for the first time in the back of his car. They were so warm. It was like we were two parts of a jigsaw puzzle fitting neatly together (holy f*ck... is this pathetic or what???) A million thoughts flew through my mind as we kissed. I knew we shouldn't be doing it but I adored him and I felt sorry for him. He was so very adoring and he dimmed the lights and we took off our clothes and kissed each other naked. Then he guided me to the bed and lay on top of me. He was so aroused there was no going back - however guilty we felt. He looked both nervous and excited and said 'I know we shouldn't be doing this but I can't help it.' I lay on my tummy and he kissed me everywhere. Then we made love. It was the most explosive sex I've ever had. It was spectacular. We pleasured each other for hours. David is amazing with his tongue and very adventurous too.”

Becks in Milan 2009. Another episode like the above soon to follow? 

Stay tuned…

Attached - David playing for the Galaxy’s last game of the season at the weekend. 

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com