It’s been a while since I called her that but I fear that after a healthy break, the foundation problem is upon us once again. What is with the splotchy face anyway? And if her boyfriend is supposedly so “clean living, on the straight and narrow”, as her publicist keeps feeding to the NY gossip columns every other day, why is it that she looks the opposite of fresh? Maybe this will provide some insight: Heard from a lovely gossip who happened to be at the Four Seasons in Wailea last week at the same time Lindsay and Harry were there. According to my spy, all La Lohan could do was chainsmoke and pimp it up for the cameras the whole time, even going so far as to move cabanas so that that pappies could get a better shot. Has it not escaped you that all those kissing and groping photos were so unobstructed??? I’m told she even waved off the hotel’s offer to relocate her to a less intrusive spot, content to allow the photographers as many opportunities as possible to capture her in various stages of bliss with her “stable, positive influence” of a boyfriend. But anyway, enough talk of calculated media manipulation. Let’s take a look instead at Lilo and her man in Venice, there to promote the much hyped Bobby, an ensemble piece directed by Emilio Estevez, co-starring among others Sharon Stone and Demi Moore who reportedly both give tour de force performances that should be generating much more attention than Skitty and the Pink Taco, who is freakin’ me out more and more every time I see him. I’m telling you – Harry Morton is a doppelganger for Chris McCandless , and the thought of my girl kissing a death by starvation Alaskan adventurer? I think it’s almost worse than J.Lo and that Vampire. PS. Is it just me or is Wonky Eye the new black???