Here’s where I sound like an old lady. Because Jacek and I are on each other’s phones all the time. If he’s driving, I’m reading his texts and emails to him. And he’s the one who programs my phone and sets it up and I’m shoving it in his face all the time whenever it’s pissing me off. We know our respective passwords. There is nothing to hide.

But it’s been a long time since I’ve dated. And when I last dated, living life on your phone hadn’t happened yet. So I don’t know what the answer is and how it works now. If you’re in a committed relationship with someone, like bonafide boyfriend-boyfriend or girlfriend-boyfriend or girlfriend-girlfriend, whatever the combination, is it offside to be looking at phones? I feel like this is a problem. I feel like people are always breaking up or getting busted from phone activity. There really are some advantages to being old.

Anyway, according to Page Six, the real reason Katy Perry and John Mayer broke up – even though they’re trying to front like it’s all amicable – is because she “found text messages on John’s phone from some random girl”.

I know, right? You can’t believe it. You cannot believe that after almost a year or more – if you count all their on/off-nesses – John Mayer would want a taste of new. Like, you never, ever, ever would have considered that possibility. It’s just so not like him.

Check him out leaving his hotel yesterday in New York. I like that sweater a lot. But he wears a bandana as a belt. Also, because it’s Oscar weekend, why not some Oscar Gossip Nostalgia.

Remember this?

And this?

And this?