I waited until after dinner last night, with a glass of wine, before turning on Dr Phil’s interview with Dina Lohan. Jacek and I watched together. The best part is that he was a little red-eyed. So it got a little trippy for him whenever she got a little trippy which was...constantly.

You’ve heard it everywhere else how f-cked up she was. If you haven’t already, I strongly encourage you to see it for yourself. For all the reasons you think and also so that you can see how it’s all exactly like her daughter Lindsay. The body language, the behaviour, how they speak, and it’s scary both ways -- whether or not she’s imitating her kid, or whether or not it’s her kid who’s imitating her.

Beyond the fidgeting and the crying and the deflecting and the protesting and the mild flirting (she was flirting with Dr Phil at times, wasn’t she? Flirting to get her way?) I really loved it when he gave it to her for not knowing the meanings of the words she was using. Comedy GOLD.

Here’s what Dina said:

“Back then, cell phones were not inept.”

Then he calls her on it and she keeps arguing that he wasn’t hitting the right context. What other context is there???

Later on he’s pointing to a scrolling screen of all of Lindsay’s legal problems and she offers this:

“I understand that demise.”

WHAT???

She was drunk/high/ blah blah blah. WHATEVER. How about she’s ILLITERATE. Pay attention the next time Lindsay Lohan tries to have a conversation -- it’s the same random use of words without regard to their definitions.

But who cares? When you’re a Lohan, you blame everyone else.

Pound that, right?

Keep in mind, and please keep this in mind, as Dr Phil repeats over and over again, SHE wanted this opportunity and interview. SHE approached them. There’s a story out there today that she was paid $50K for it but, you know, that’s also coming from Michael Lohan who’s a goddamn liar so, for now, can we stick with what we know?

Dr Phil, a disciple of Oprah, insists that he never pays for interviews.

A show co-owned by Oprah probably wouldn’t have to pay mother skank for an interview.

We can agree that the above two sentences are more credible than whatever Michael Lohan and Radar Online are reporting then, right?

So Dina calls up Dr Phil and he tells her she could help others in her position, who have been abused, that that’s a serious responsibility, that she could use her experience for good, FOR ONCE, and she sits on his couch and, in pure true Lohan style, f-cks it up completely. Because of course that was never her intention.

Her intention, as she intimates over and over again, was to have him make her look good. What she wanted to do was to throw down a soundbite declaration and then hand it over to Dr Phil to present her as a victim for whom we should all feel sorry, and end up celebrating.

THAT was the only motivation.

A Lohan is never there for anyone else, you see. A Lohan only knows ME.

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.

So the mother is a narcissist paranoid mess. The father is a slick sleazy used car salesman. They only thing these two could possibly produce is a miserable f-ck of a human being.