A reader called Nadia sent in this link the other day with a simple, succinct note: “This is too much… sharing.”
I know nothing about Nadia, whether she’s a mom or child-free, single or married, 18 or 80. Don’t know, doesn’t matter. We can all agree that finding out how Vanessa Minnillo told her husband she’s pregnant is not exactly a cultural milestone.
And the celebrities you actually want to know about never tell the details: Of course I’d be interested in how Brad and Ange found out they are expecting twins. But no, we don’t get the Brange. We don’t even get anything good, really, from someone like Jennifer Garner (who masterfully makes it looks like she shows you every detail of her parenting life, but actually shows nothing). Instead, we get Jenna van Oy (throwback, Six from Blossom) and Marla Sokoloff (did you know she used to date James Franco?) as celebrity mom bloggers on PEOPLE.
It’s like the question “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” but instead of chickens and eggs we have gender reveal parties and bump selfies. Do gossip followers demand this info, or do we just read it because it’s available, and then come to expect it? Compared to Megan Fox’s 8 centimeters, sharing a story like Vanessa’s is actually quite innocuous. Drew Barrymore’s husband Will Kopelman also shared how he found out about her pregnancy on Oprah’s Next Chapter (click here to see).
Drew. Oh Drew. I, we, know a lot about Olive. How she was named (from Drew reading a baby book), what she dressed up as for Halloween (a lobster in a pot), how she will be raised with structure, schedules, always be picked up from school, and Drew also just shared -- on The View of course, in an episode airing Friday -- that she’s going to raise Olive in the Jewish faith. Great, fantastic. At this point I know more about Olive than I do my own kid.
And here’s the thing: I like Drew Barrymore. A lot! But when she tells Oprah she cried for 2 months about Olive having her photo taken by the paparazzi, while never acknowledging that she SOLD her baby photos to PEOPLE, and is walking through every step of her early motherhood with us on national television, it’s a bit of a “Bitch, please” situation.
We applaud Drew (and celebrities like her) for sharing, we reward them for sharing, and it doesn’t seem like any of them could ever be told they talk about their kid... too much.
In real life though, we all know that annoying mom who can’t talk about ANYTHING else. No one will call her on it because then they look like a child-hating bitch (if they don’t have kids) or a cold and selfish parent (if they do), but no one wants to be stuck next to the capital “M” Mom at a dinner party. You know, the one who talks about potty training and soccer schedules and how she doesn’t have time to go the gym/get her hair done/get her nails done/sleep in/read/watch TV/go on vacation because she has a kid? Like you could be preparing to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, writing your thesis and working 14 hours a day while she listlessly nods and tells you how it must be nice to have so much time on your hands. We eye-roll these women in real life, so why do we celebrate the benevolent, mom-makes-the-world-go-‘round mentality in famous women? Is this what we’re choosing off the gossip buffet, or is it a more of a prix fixe menu: if you love Celebrity X, you must also love their baby (talk). No substitutions.