I'm a few weeks away from my due date and my husband and I are at a loss for boy names. Our first is named and Henry and it was the ONLY name we agreed on at the time.

We're expecting baby number two and easily picked our girl names (fairly traditional with Rebecca and Katrina as our leaders) but are at a loss for boy names.

Twist: our last name starts with J and I abhor alliteration with first and last names. Makes me think of characters in a Kate Hudson RomCom. No Andy Anderson for me.

We flirted with Wilfred (family roots) as a first name and enjoyed it in private but then my husband told his mother and she flipped out. Knew it was a stretch to begin with so that one is gone.

Now we're at a loss and time is ticking.

Recently we both liked the name Edgar. Yeah, we're that desperate.

Help, Duana!

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What were you doing telling his mother anyway?

Here’s another one of those things that is a family tradition for some and a totally weird aberration for others: some people make a big grand announcement of the name precisely six hours after the child arrives into the world, and their friends and family text each other all “do you think that was what they meant to send?  Maybe they’re just tired”.

Then again there are some people who decide on a name around the six month mark and will tell anyone who asks what it is. They aren’t going to be swayed by opinion (and of course, nobody’s gonna offer an opinion when they’re so clearly stuck on Zeek or whatever it might be) and blithely release the birth announcement with the name everyone knew firmly in place. I used to think these people were deploying decoy names, and that the real one would be revealed but apparently that’s a name nerd’s way of thinking.

Regardless, you need some names. Henry goes with almost anything so you’re lucky that way, and we can happily stay away from your dreaded “J”. But if there were so many you rejected last time, I suspect I’m not going to bother with the usual suspects – right? 

It seems like, with Wilfred (which I very much like) and Edgar on the maybe list, you could easily go for one of my faves I believe is coming back:

Arthur.

Sophisticated, charming, goes with Henry. There is no reason why Arthur shouldn’t become the next name of this generation. But if it’s not for you, how about Hugo? Sounds different enough from Henry that the two together won’t seem aliiterative. Still, maybe the two H’s are too close.

How far from Henry will you go? Callum? Gerald? Malcolm? Do you need me to bring up Barnaby again? 

And then of course my other favourite recently, though it’s longer than Henry: Frederick. Like Wilfred, without the ubiquitous ‘Will’ anyway.

The thing is, as we know, nobody’s going to like everything. The only way around this is to not tell people. If Wilfred is ruined for you, so be it, but I think you could go back there and own it. Either way though, you’ll ultimately probably say the name almost as much as the kid will in his lifetime so it’s more important that you like it than anyone else. 

Let me know what happens! 

Wait – one more thing!  Recently you both liked Edgar – then there you go!  What’s the desperate? Because you want to find something with a different “feel” than that? Because it doesn’t seem like it’s Henry’s brother?  Because it seems old or presidential or grown up?  

If you like a name, it’s yours. Nothing desperate about it. Or am I missing something?