Hi Duana,

We are going to be the proud parents of a new dog soon - in less than four weeks!  The name part is killing us - we can't decide.  This is our second dog, our first one is Winston a Standard Schnauzer.  Our new addition will be a Brussels Griffon (the dog from As Good As It Gets) and will likely be a girl.  I love old, quaint British names and keep leaning towards Miss Beazley or ??  Have no idea - please help!


As soon as I read this, I started thinking about who Winston would be to your new dog. Like I mean, obviously he’s her older brother if you go in for that kind of thing, or the alpha dog in her new home if you don’t, or whatever, but to me, if she’s that tiny and he’s that large, you’re automatically getting into a situation where he’s going to be there to do her bidding.

Ergo, I immediately started thinking of imperious old British Ladies. Did you ever see Are You Being Served? Mrs. Slocombe? I believe her name was Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel Abergavenny Slocombe so it’s totally up to you how you honor her – but Slocombe kind of gets it done, no? Or Mary? Winston and Mary?

Continuing on my Britcom thread and explaining succinctly why I had no friends in Junior High School, because these were my “pop-culture” references, how about Hyacinth? Hyacinth Bucket was a whole lot of handful and generally exhausting, so I’m not wishing that on you, but at the same time, a new puppy Hyacinth is pretty entertaining…

No? Okay. May I remind you of Hayley Mills’ turn as Miss Bliss before Saved By The Bell became SBTB? Or how about Lady Marmalade? Too silly? I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Madame Marisha from the Flowers in The Attic books. Yes, those books are creepy, but Marisha’s biggest crime was being a demanding ballet-mistress and having a narcissistic son and I always liked how Madame Marisha flowed together.

Okay. Are we anywhere close? If not, how about quintessentially British first names?   Arabella? Georgina? If you’ve been nursing a Harry Potter fetish, now’s the time to get it out, with Hermione or Gwendolyn at your service.   

Henrietta Bridges? Catriona of Windsor? Or go all Brit nickname and call her Tiggy?

Let me know where you go here. I’m still not sure we nailed it, but I want to, so badly. Lady Buckwith? Madame Salamander? Miss Billingsley? 

Hit me back.