I hope your reaction to reading that title I just came up with was…

Duh, Lainey.

How is this news?

And yet… it is.

Because have a look at an email that arrived in my inbox yesterday, and the headline:

Basically, “Exclusive: Anne Hathaway loves her baby”.

What, exactly, makes this newsworthy? In privileged North America, for those of us who have internet connections and can afford to spend time reading about celebrities, is it “normal” for people to hate their babies? Because if it was normal for people to hate their babies, I would understand why this headline, that Anne Hathaway is enjoying her baby, is newsworthy. That said, I’m pretty sure most people love their babies. I actually can’t believe I just had to write that.

And this isn’t the first time I’ve complained about these kinds of headlines. Some of you inevitably will complain that I complain because I’m not interested in being a parent. This has nothing to do with me not being a parent. This has everything to do with YOU being a parent, now or one day in the future. Because it’s insulting to you. It’s an insult to you to think that something so f-cking basic about the experience of parenthood would attract your attention. It insults you to presume that that’s the “exclusive” headline that will make you be all like, “oh, Anne Hathaway is enjoying her baby? That’s SO SURPRISING TO ME. I would like to know more about that. Click please!”