Picture Him On Top Of You: Part 2

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 3, 2011 19:02:49 October 3, 2011 19:02:49

Elizabeth Hurley is engaged to Shane Warne. ItΓÇÖs been almost a year since it was revealed that the two were sleeping with each other while married to other people. Liz insisted that her marriage to Arun Nayer was over when she started up with Shane. IΓÇÖm not sure ShaneΓÇÖs wife would feel the same way. Still, she couldnΓÇÖt have been surprised. After all, heΓÇÖd already been busted before for cheating on her.

Also, thereΓÇÖs this - click here if itΓÇÖs safe to do so at work. In other words, heΓÇÖs a f-cking PIG. Who proposed to Liz Hurley this weekend...and she said yes.

So thereΓÇÖs all that and... heΓÇÖs GROSS.

Like, really, really gross.

Like, Shane Warne is some sick sh-t.

I mean, I know it shouldnΓÇÖt matter because a bad man is a bad man no matter what he looks like and how are you raising a child with this bad man but goddamn this bad man, he is some sick sh-t to look at. I just donΓÇÖt understand how this woman, any woman, finds this palatable.

Try to control your gag reflex while browsing through some examples of Shane WarneΓÇÖs vileness. ItΓÇÖs not just the overall stank of douche coming off his over-processed body, itΓÇÖs also in the revolting small details: the fact that he always looks like heΓÇÖs wearing lipgloss which, oh my god, next to his orange skin, is that a burn fetish I havenΓÇÖt heard about because goddamn maybe IΓÇÖm just too square, to say nothing of the fact that he cannot wear pants, and dresses like he thinks heΓÇÖs born from Will and Harry stock with an air of ΓÇ£I think IΓÇÖm Brad PittΓÇ¥ wafting off of his Ed Hardy clothes...

As IF!

And she...



She lets that inside of her, night after night.

Is that too graphic? GOOD. It should be. Because sheΓÇÖs GOING TO BE ITS WIFE!!! So picture it for me, would you? Picture him on top of you and tell me...

Do you want to die?

When I picture him on top of me, I want to die. Shane Warne makes me want to die more than picturing Prince Albert on top of me. And that has nothing to do with the fact that heΓÇÖs a prince. It has everything to do with the fact that I WOULD RATHER a perverted bald guy with a paunch than Shane sodding Warne with the 5 strands of bleached desperate hair implants on his head walking around with a half open mouth like heΓÇÖs some kind of sex god...

F-ck. No. NEVER. Ew. EW!!!!

How much do you have to hate yourself to agree to marry Shane Warne? ThereΓÇÖs your insight into Elizabeth Hurley.

Wenn, Flynet, Bauer, Splash

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