You know, there’s JLO and her Slum Love and then there’s Elizabeth Hurley and her…well…

My problem with JLO is that if you’re going to date a backup dancer, keep him as the backup dancer – like Madonna – and don’t give him the f-cking job as your head choreographer. Also, are you telling me JLO can’t find a hot loser? Jesus, if he has to be a loser, can’t he at least be attractive?

It can’t be hard to find a goodlooking backup dancer.

It’s much harder to find a goodlooking multimillionaire.

That’s where we find Elizabeth Hurley. Here she is with her new boyfriend David Yarrow. He’s super rich because that’s her thing. Apparently her thing too is that she’s really good at Picture Him On Top Of You. Yarrow’s not as gross as Shane Warne but they’re definitely relatives in grossness. And that’s what Picture Him On Top Of You is all about. The ratio of money to vile. How much money is required to make the situation less vile?

Maybe he’s really, really nice.

OK. But I look at his shirt and the fact that he’s wearing it like Simon Cowell and I’m not sure about nice.