Lorella and I were in England in August enjoying a little food porn at Selfridges and we laughed for an hour after walking by the snack food section when we saw a stand with pink packages featuring Elizabeth Hurley’s Beef Jerky. Photo is attached. I mean you have to be a certain kind of ghetto to slap your name on Beef Jerky.

I guess we now know why. Turns out Hurley’s millionaire husband Arun Nayer wasn’t as rich as she needed him to be. And he’s also too chilled out for her drama. She craves it constantly. And there’s also a new douchebag in her life. So now she’s announced their divorce, having been caught by a tabloid getting intimate with a famous Australian cricket player called Shane Warne.

News of the World broke the story this weekend with video and photos proving that Hurley and Warne, both married, are having an affair. Hurley immediately took to Twitter, obviously, claiming that she and her husband have been separated a few months now. That must be why they showed up together to an Elton John party 5 weeks ago, photo attached. Coincidentally, Warne has also just released a statement to the press about the demise of his marriage. He was also with his wife 5 weeks ago at a public event. But it turns out he and Hurley have been tweeting each other suggestive messages since the summer. Which must be the dumbest ass way of cheating ever. Click here if you care enough to read them.

Well she sure picked a winner, non?

I don’t give a sh-t if he’s a national sport hero. Look at this douche Shane Warne. Apparently he’s a chronic philanderer. Have you ever seen a more douchey douche? You keep asking me what’s a Beat-Me Face. Well, THIS is a Beat-Me Face. Like, you know This Guy. He’s vile. He wears Ed Hardy, orders every “babe” in the vicinity to get him a beer, and touches up his highlights every 3 weeks. Now he’s walking around with some extra swagger because he’s f-cking Elizabeth Hurley. Ask her in a year whether or not it was worth it. Stupid twat.

File photos from Wenn.com and Raoul Wegat/David Rogers/Gettyimages.com