Here’s Elsa Pataky at the amfAR event last night. If you blink quickly enough you’ll see her moving up and down on your screen. 

Or...Pass Interference.  Miami number 23. Automatic...First Down!

Is this fashionable? Is she ahead of the curve? Cause I don’t see it. She should stick to castles, saving Africa, and plumbing.

Perhaps this is the time to address this fashion curve thing that I told I’m on the wrong side of.

Lainey got skinning jeans a few months before everyone started wearing them. She frequently asks me what I think of her clothing and uses my answer as a barometer to gauge whether or not she looks good. If I say I don’t like it, it’s good. If I like it, she takes it off and never wears it again. Needless to say, I didn’t like them.

Sidebar…after 8 years of marriage, I’ve cultivated a little honesty niche when it comes to answering the fashion like it/don’t like it questions. As always, it has to be VERY carefully managed as any man who’s been asked “does this make me look fat?” will know.

Double sidebar…This reminds me of one of my favourite scenes in what has to be the Greatest Movie Of All Time featuring one of this generation’s greatest actors. Check it out below. Difference with us is that our “how does this look?” discussions haven’t required mediation so far.

Back to the skinny jeans. Not only did she wear them constantly, she then got herself about 600 pairs of those RIDICULOUS ballerina slippers/shoes. Totally flat to the ground with some God-awful gold plated plaque on the front of one pair.

Puts on the skinny jeans. Puts on the f-cking slippers. Does this look good?

Babe, Gisele Bundchen could put on this combination and would look short and wide.

I might have been straddling the trust line with that feedback, but what can I say? I’ve told her I’ll tell it like it is when she puts on ridiculous sh-t like that.

She still wears the jeans to this day but I believe the ballerina skipper thing has passed.

Written by Jacek
Photos from