Monday night, after the Critics’ Choice Awards, several high profile celebrities headed to Shutters to celebrate including George Clooney, Javier Bardem WITH Penelope, Sean Penn, Eddie Vedder, dirty Benicio del Toro…and more.

Most were well behaved. But Emile Hirsch is a dickhead. More on that later.

George is still very thin. Debonair as ever but manorexic nonetheless. And there was no mention of Sarah Larsen. He spent a good hour deep in discussion with Marcia Gay Harden. Javier and Pene were openly affectionate, and not in a gaygay faghag kinda way. Are Pene’s bearding days behind her?

As for the recently announced soon to be divorced Sean Penn – he spent the entire evening with his bestie, Eddie Vedder, who made major contributions to the Into the Wild soundtrack. Sean and Eddie are so tight they even go to the loo together. Cute.

Catherine Keener was spotted gushing about her earrings which she purchased at Casey Affleck’s wife’s store Some Odd Rubies, co-owned by Summer Phoenix (Joaquin’s sister and married to Casey) and Odessa Whitmire who used to date Matt Damon who of course is best friends with Casey’s brother Ben. Get it?

And finally, Emile Hirsch, the critically acclaimed star of Into the Wild who, under Sean Penn’s tutelage, has now been elevated to the A List – young Emile Hirsch has apparently developed a healthy attitude problem. Boy is downright rude – perhaps he learned from his mentor?

Shutters is a hotel. Which means there are guests staying there. And the lobby/bar was full of civilian guests well before the celebrities made their unannounced arrival. When one of the guests tried to strike up a conversation with an admittedly lame opening line, Emile was overheard ungraciously sh-tting on her attempt:

Is that the best you can do? You’re pathetic.

Fortunately, karmic calamity smacked that little prick soon after when he went outside for a ciggie and returned only to realise that his table had bailed, leaving him with the bill. And karmic calamity will likely continue to fall.

Tobey Maguire and Elijah Wood. Now Emile Hirsch. Just sayin’…

Photos from Splash