Emma Watson wore a Dior Couture dress with an open back and pants underneath. If your mom watched the Globes, she’s already called you to complain about it.  

Emma Watson wore almost garish makeup. It was a little too bright and a little too much.

Emma Watson knocked back wine, barely noticing whether or not you were looking at her through the camera’s pushy-pushy face.

I don’t even know whether Emma Watson is 22, or 21, or 14. But the behavior, the night she was having?   The way she was bound and determined that nobody was going to have more fun than she was? That’s a 22 year old night. Taylor Swift has had about six dozen this year alone. That’s what “feelin’ 22” is all about.

See, the thing is, I think Emma Watson maybe is a bit disappointed that she doesn’t have JLaw’s career.   That she isn’t in demand in the same way, with the same breadth of experience.

Whomever might have been watching, whoever wasn’t there and maybe was nursing wounds about it, Emma Watson wanted them to know she was having a damn good time. The camera was very obliging about finding her constantly so that she could reinforce her point, too.

Do they negotiate in-room shots? When “people” are bartering for a star’s appearance they discuss placement in the show, what award will be presented, etc. Can they get as far down as camera shots? Is the director required to throw in three 2-second shots of any given ingénue?  

All she has to do now is look like she’s not trying so hard.