Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 16, 2009 18:32:54 April 16, 2009 18:32:54

It’s petty, sure. But again…this is a gossip column. Graciousness does not live here.

What does live here is an aversion to Emmy Rossum. Which is why I am happy to bring you the following Fried Rice Moment:

Her new film Dragonball Evolution, eviscerated by critics, opened in only 8th spot last weekend taking in a dismal $4.5 million in North America. In Asia it’ll probably fare much better and the Hello Kitty androgens will probably demand a sequel. My people, you know how it is. Over here though, over here it is clear: Emmy Rossum sucks.

This is Rossum last night at the New Yorkers for Children event wearing a nauseating dress, in sugar raping light pastel, and of course the PTA’s favourite smile.

So what’s the bad news?

The bad news is that now that her film career is f-cked, she’ll probably focus on more singing. Don’t make me remind you about the singing. Last week someone sent me something almost worse than the singing.

It’s Rossum on YouTube answering questions from her “fans”. I watched 45 seconds of this sh-t, listening to her talk about her Best Quality, and almost grabbed a pair of scissors to hack my own hair off. It is a blessing that I am so vain.

How will you survive this?

A new installment of Would You Rather!

Would you rather:

Be friends with Rossum or marry Billy Bob Thornton?

Photos from Wenn.com and Janet Mayer/Splashnewsonline.com

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