Written by Sarah

I have a weird three-way stance on Captain America.

1) He is the most boring superhero ever.

2) Chris Evans (the actor portraying him, if you’ve been living under a rock) is one of my favorites and I make no apologies for it.

3) I’m totally fascinated by the gamble Marvel Studios is making.

So it’s a guy I like playing a character I dislike in a project I’m watching like a train wreck. I want to like Captain America: The First Avenger. I want it to succeed so that The Avengers has a strong platform in 2012. And I want it to work out for Evans, who has been on the brink of really breaking out for ages but has never quite made the leap.

But I have never been able to muster 100% confidence in The First Avenger. It’s just that he’s so terribly not interesting. Steve Rogers is a normal guy, a soldier in World War II, who becomes a super soldier courtesy a military experiment. He goes in a Boy Scout. He comes out an Uber Boy Scout. When Evans was cast I wondered if that was Marvel’s way of sexing up the character a little bit. Evans is pretty funny, capable of wisecracking and delivering comic lines with a smirk and a twinkle. But the first image of Evans suited up as Cap is decidedly not sexy or smirky. In fact, Evans is flexing his jaw so hard his molars are compacting.

And then there’s the suit. I don’t love it. Cap’s suit is pretty cartoonish to begin with so it’s difficult to make it look not silly, but I was hoping for a little better than fatigues made of Kevlar and painted red, white and blue. I’m hoping this is the WWII suit and once Steve Rogers is revived in the present day his suit looks better. Because I kind of really hate this suit.

Now comes the body. Chris Evans has always been nice to look at, but when he read internet comments that he wasn’t muscular enough to be Cap he hit the gym and buffed up. Evans is pretty cut but now he’s a straight up beefcake and those muscles under his arms are totally distracting me. It looks like hardened back fat. What is the purpose of those muscles? I’m obsessed with this.

In the EW article Evans says, "If it bombs I'm f*cked, but if it hits I'm f*cked." He's aware of the pressure and the stakes involved with The First Avenger. If it's a success he fulfills his 6-picture deal and finally achieves major mainstream success. But if it tanks, he'll likely never be more than he is now. I want this to work out for Evans. And I want it to succeed for Marvel, who could pull off an unprecedented feat by establishing a franchise that doesn't move vertically but fans out, embracing a cavalcade of characters and possibilities at once.

I look at Captain America, though, and I worry.

Click here for more on Chris Evans and Captain America.