Weddings Porny’s Caprese wedding? Tomatoes and mozzarella, sprinkled with basil. I could do that for breakfast right now. Here are Jessica Simpson and her freeloading fiancé in Capri yesterday with family and friends, including her mother reportedly on a scouting mission for their upcoming wedding. They’re now speculating that it’ll happen next By Lainey • Oct 17, 2013 10:45 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Stay pregnant! I don’t think I’ve received a single email disagreeing about my position on Porny’s pregnancy style: that it’s remarkably superior to her non-pregnancy style, as in it’s GOOD style. Crazy talk, right? But look at her, stringing together win after win this week in New By Lainey • Dec 02, 2011 09:41 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Porny’s pregnancy steeze She wears her clothes so much better when she’s pregnant, non? Look at my Porny last night in New York with her freeloader. Doesn’t she look lovely? Isn’t that a good fit? Why can’t she do this when there’s no baby inside of her? But By Lainey • Nov 30, 2011 12:01 pm
Baby and Bump Obsession Pregnancy pays already for Porny This is Jessica Simpson with her freeloader yesterday celebrating her nephew’s 3rd birthday. As you well know Porny is now pregnant with her own. Us Weekly reports that she will be signing with Weight Watchers after she gives birth to lose all her baby gain. Apparently she’ll have By Lainey • Nov 22, 2011 12:54 pm
Baby and Bump Obsession Porny’s having a baby? I have no idea. But In Touch Eye-Roll Weekly is claiming to have the exclusive. They’ve supposedly “confirmed” that Jessica Simpson is pregnant with that freeloader’s baby. Porny’s “kooky” cravings include “nacho chips dipped in chocolate and cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas”. How are those cravings when By Lainey • Sep 27, 2011 05:27 pm
Bad Style Porny’s “professional dancing” Jessica Simpson tweeted this yesterday: There are rumors that I was "drunk swaying" at the Adele concert last night. That wasn't drunk swaying, that was professional dancing! It’s funny, right? It’s actually not a bad joke. The question is - is my Porny clever By Lainey • Aug 17, 2011 04:25 am
Golddiggers Let’s open the week with an As IF It was Porny’s birthday yesterday. She’s 31 now. And she tweeted this photo – a gift from her KFed. He bought her a new bag. What looks like a Birkin. A very large, very orange one. With this caption: Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised By Lainey • Jul 11, 2011 05:05 am
Jessica Simpson Porny time in Paris Porny and her KFed are in Paris. The photo agency is trying to tell me it’s all romantic and sh-t. Paris is indeed romantic. Paris was probably, so far, the best trip Jacek and I have ever taken. It was London first, then Paris, then the South of France, By Lainey • Mar 09, 2011 09:21 am
Jessica Simpson Porny to judge? Porny was in New York last night with her freeloader and they went to dinner at a vegan restaurant, all part of her “get fit” plan as she’s supposedly working out 4 days a week for 75 minutes each time with the Tracy Anderson Method. Porny however denies that By Lainey • Mar 04, 2011 02:47 am
Gwyneth Paltrow Can Porny look like GOOPy? Porny’s getting married this year. So she’s trying to lean out, get into her dress. Her last trainer was Harley Pasternak. But Harley’s connected to John Mayer. And besides, Porny wants to look like GOOP. Gwyneth’s body is aspirational? That’s actually a business plan. Gwyneth By Lainey • Feb 18, 2011 05:00 am
Dumbass Rough night, Porners? Porny Jessica Simpson took her freeloader out for dinner last night. They went to Katsuya. Too much sake? He had to hold on to her to make sure she didn’t bail on those heels. But that is a crazy weave, non? And it’s actually not that bad either, By Lainey • Jan 25, 2011 04:00 am
Dumbass Dumb Words My Porny, ONCE AGAIN, took to Twitter to express gratitude that Eric Johnson has agreed to live off her fortune. The other day, Jacek called me Toronto from Vancouver to get me to call our regular sushi place to order him takeout. It's because I talk to the By Lainey • Jan 24, 2011 04:55 am
Bad Style New Year, Same Porny When I saw these photos of my Porny on New Year’s Eve in Aspen with her golddigging future husband, I wondered whether or not I knew the meaning of real, profound love. The kind real, profound love that moves one to abandon all senses, especially sight, and waddle out By Lainey • Jan 03, 2011 02:19 am
Bad Style A Very Porny Christmas My Porny Jessica Simpson just celebrated her first Christmas with golddigger Eric Johnson. According to her Twitter, they were at her parents’, and she called him the “perfect” addition. Because, even though she runs an almost billion dollar business, she’ll always be the second class citizen in a relationship. By Lainey • Dec 29, 2010 02:45 am
Style Porny isn’t pregnant, just drunk Remember when she looked like this and all you bumpwatch obsessed immediately concluded that she must be pregnant. Well... Is Jessica Simpson stupid enough to harm her baby with the drank? Debatable. But the people around her should probably be aware of the harmful effects that margaritas and tequila shots By Lainey • Dec 02, 2010 05:48 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Porny’s not pregnant At least that’s what she told Access Hollywood. The other day the bump-obsessed among you swore up and down that she looked rough at the airport in New York because she’s in her first trimester. Could be. But she says no. “There are no babies yet. But I By Lainey • Nov 24, 2010 02:19 am
