If Jesse James got pregnant, carried a baby around inside him, and then birthed it on national television, they’d probably forgive him. Because Motherhood whitewashes everything. It whitewashed Tori Spelling’s infidelity and it is now whitewashing Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart of their drug scandal.

Wasn’t even a year ago they made headlines for some sex tape and cocaine report. Click here for a refresher. A few weeks ago they had a baby girl. Suddenly it’s all happiness and perfection, on the cover of Us Weekly, posing with their “miracle”, gushing about the transformative power of little Billie.

Put your lighters in the air, and all the mommas say yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

Suddenly the MiniVan is all over it. Motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood: it’s the all purpose fix for every asshole.

Click here for more on Dane and Gayheart in Us Weekly.