It pains me, gossips. It pains me to say it, especially since I hate this egomaniacal tramp. And in spite of all that, I can"t deny she looks gorgeous. Lovely skin, lovely hair, lovely dress. Lovely all around. Except on the inside. On the inside she"s a shameless slut. Which is why she will never win a Golden Globe. Or an Emmy. Or an Oscar. She would, however, be a perfect revenge f&ck for Nick Lachey. And if that ever happens, I will take Eva Longoria off my Hate List and kiss her small, tight, shapely ass for an entire week in my column. I promise.