If you’re George Clooney, the King of Hollywood, and you bring a girl to the Oscars, it is for real. Like a promise ring. Like a varsity jacket in high school. A global announcement on showbiz’s grandest stage – George shouted it out tonight confirming that this is more than a 6 month contract for a paid escort.

This is a new Pretty Woman…although Sarah Larsen is NOT Julia Roberts.

Because if she was Julia Roberts she’d be able to clean up real nice. Unfortunately, some girls can never shake the stink of Vegas and the air of the “sale”. Sarah Larsen has been bought. She has been paid for. Whatever happens after this, at the very least, she’ll have her own apartment purchased in cash.

You’d think with all that money though he could afford to get her a better dress? A front row seat at the Oscars next to George Clooney and this is what she wore? Hotel upholstery – this is what she wore???

Waste. Cheap. Vegas Girl forever. This is what George wants.

And he looked awful last night. The photos do him too much justice. Skin was horrid. Like he’s spent a week in Vegas paying for sex. Time to hit the spa, I think.

Having said that, I will offer this about George Clooney: the man is the consummate professional. Unlike so many other A listers - and he"s the most A of them all these days - George arrived 90 minutes before the start of the show.

He worked the photo wall first, then backtracked to the media outlets, stopping to talk to virtually everyone on the carpet, not heading into the theatre until just before countdown.

And why is this impressive? Because so many of them are brats these days. They simply want to be photographed without playing the talking game.

George never, ever disappoints in this regard. This is why he just might be the last great movie star.

PS. Did I mention Sarah Larsen is mute? I"m telling you - the girl knows what she"s doing. She will never overreach. She will never ask for a ring and a proposal. Do they have a school for these things? Someone needs to teach Jessica Biel.

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com