Which is, honestly, more interesting to me than his wedding. New York Comic Con is underway, and while it isn’t as important from an industry perspective as San Diego Comic-Con, it is rising in prominence thanks to some high-profile projects that have eschewed Hall H for New York’s west side. In 2011 it was The Avengers, and this year it’s another hyped Disney project: Tomorrowland starring George Clooney. 

Once upon a time I wondered if this movie, stuffed deep into a mystery box straight out of the JJ Abrams School of SECRETY SECRETS, could be a biopic of Walt Disney. But my dreams of seeing George Clooney play Disney are now dashed as a teaser trailer was shown at NYCC and Tomorrowland is not a Disney biopic but is instead some big thing. It looks slick—it’s directed by Brad Bird, who proved a deft hand at large-scale action with Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol—and it is apparently about a girl who can time travel/space travel/dream travel to a futuristic/alien/magic place, and Clooney wants her to help him save it. Or something. The teaser is really not informative.

Tomorrowland was written by Damon Lindelof, King of Space-Magic Bullsh*t, so while I’m into the contrasting tone of the girl being super bored in the police station—and whatever is happening on the news in the background—and the bright wonderment of Tomorrowland(?), I refuse to get my hopes up. I’ve been burned by Lindelof too many times. I know how this story ends: with a walking Deus Ex Machina taking a space-magic dump on the previous two hours of plot. Seriously, I think the posters for anything Lindelof works on should just be a photo of a wizard on the moon sh*tting on a script.