More details about how George Clooney proposed to his “match” Amal Alamuddin…but first, because many of us seem to be annoyed by this “match” characterisation of Alamuddin, considering Clooney is hardly at her level…

Have you read the Slate announcement of the engagement?

Click here and get ready for the bonus at the very end.

Anyway, according to Page Six George cooked dinner before getting down on one knee and presenting Amal with the $650,000 ring. Thank you Nespresso! Then he couldn’t wait and told all his friends.

Jesus, the detail. So much detail. It’s like he’s blowing his load on the details, so eager to share with us his perfect proposal. Last year he was trying to convince us that he’s the Ultimate Bachelor. Now we’re being treated to all kinds of private information about how he’s the Ultimate Fiancé. Are you feeling this, MiniVan Majority?

Also, PEOPLE went around asking other celebrities how they felt about Clooney’s news. Alfonso Cuaron, who directed him in Gravity, was asked to comment, as was Charlie Rose. Ronan Farrow is friends with Alamuddin and spoke about her character. And then…Martha Stewart. Who doesn’t know either of them from her ass but likes his movies which somehow made her an authority to offer her thoughts on it. “It was about time!” is the headline PEOPLE used for the story…even though it came from someone who is NOT his friend, WTF?