You want a conspiracy theory? Here’s a big one, courtesy, of course, of those hacked Sony emails.

On January 29, 2014, just before the release of George Clooney’s The Monuments Men, he sent an email to Sony’s Amy Pascal, reacting to the film’s sh-tty reviews. The title of the message was “it’s getting worse”. And then Clooney followed with:

“I need some protection from all the reviews. Let’s just make it a hit. I haven’t slept in 30 hours. And it’s 7 am.”

George was insecure. He was worried. He needed reassurance. Pascal gave it to him:

“we will protect you by making money… that’s the best revenge.”

Even the Chairman himself, George Clooney, can be shaken, see? Actors, ultimately, all need to be coddled. After Pascal’s comforting words, Clooney wrote back to her the next day:

“I adore you Amy. You are literally the only person running a studio that loves film. I fear I’ve let you all down. Not my intention. I apologize. I’ve just lost touch… Who knew? Sorry. I won’t do it again.”

I let you down. I lost touch.

That’s a crisis of confidence, non?

So that was late January. And then two weeks later, JUST TWO WEEKS LATER, we the world meet a woman called Amal. George Clooney takes Amal Alamuddin to the White House for a screening of The Monuments Men– click here for a refresher. A month after that, PEOPLE publishes exclusive photos of George and Amal on safari, confirming their relationship. Click here for a refresher. Two months after that, proposes.

Let’s break that down, just so we’re clear, OK? The charming, affable Chairman is anxious about his film. He’s stressed, professionally. He can’t sleep. He’s angst-ing about whether or not his movie sucks, whether or not it’s going to bomb. He’s so freaked out about it he emails the head of the studio, asking her to hold his hand.

And then…his personal life thrives, publicly.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

By the way, The Monuments Men went on to gross over $150 million worldwide on a $70 million production budget. George and Amal went on to get married. Amal went on to become Barbara Walters’ Most Fascinating Person of 2014.

Here she is, the Most Fascinating Amal, out for dinner with George last night in LA. They were also out the night before with Rande Gerber and Cindy Crawford.