The most horrible, scandalous headlines have already been printed about George Michael short of murder and abuse and it’s liberating for him. Now he can say and do whatever the f-ck he wants. This freedom is feeding our smut. His candour is amazing. And his new interview with the Guardian is what you hope all celebrity interviews to be: funny, honest, dirty, and completely uninhibited, especially as it relates to his sex life.

George has a boyfriend Kenny Goss. Like many other couples, George and Kenny have an understanding. It’s not an understanding the MiniVan can accept to but it’s a mutual understanding nonetheless. One that does not undermine their commitment to each other. So they both get it on the side and often and continue to love and respect their relationship…

Only George likes to get it on in the woods. And here’s where I’ve always maintained that I wish he’d just use his laptop. Because I’ve been to Hampstead Heath. And while it’s not exactly the old Bois de Boulogne, being in there at night would be some scary sh-t. Here in Vancouver in our endowment lands, a lady was murdered in broad daylight running on the trails. And we have nowhere near the population of London. Can you imagine walking around with your dick in your hand in the darkness?

I don’t understand what he has against a chat room. But George prefers the old school:

"The handful of times a year it's bloody warm enough, I'll do it. I'll do it on a nice summer evening. Quite often there are campfires up there. It's a much nicer place to get some quick and honest sex than standing in a bar, E'd off your tits shouting at somebody and hoping they want the same thing as you do in bed. DyaknowhatImean?"

Hooker, I know what you mean. But this is what the internet is for. Maybe it’s an age thing. George likes his men mature. Like his age or older. And perhaps that generation isn’t accustomed to finding it electronically.

My favourite part of the article is the celebrity gossip. Like celebrities actually gossiping. Bono said something about George to Elton John who passed it on to Geri Halliwell and she told Kenny who then carelessly whispered it to George who’s now slagging Elton and yapping about it to a journalist. GOLD.

Click here for the full article. You must.

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