Here’s one of the articles that was lost in my bug-eyed fatigue yesterday. It was pre-written overnight and I’m attaching it below as is:

Sorry. I can’t sh-t on this dress. It’s crazy. She is crazy in it. What’s underneath there? Anything? Aren’t you into the chain mail? And the one sleeve? If she had to shave her bush, this would have been the dress to do it for, Gwyneth Paltrow. Right?

Yes. The shoes are terrible, I give you that. But not as terrible as Tom Brady’s jacket. There’s just no style cohesion happening here. Tom was at the Kentucky Derby this weekend. Maybe he thought it could carry over? No thank you.

To be honest though, there’s only a limited amount of hate I can throw down here. Look at his hand on her small, perfect ass. Look at him checking it out while she’s posing. To borrow and slightly modify Tony Stark in The Avengers, “There is no version of this where they don’t come out on top”. It’s sick, but it’s also true.

Also, as they were leaving, alongside the Evangelista, he held onto her shoes when they were leaving ...which is HOT.

And I’ll stop you right there before you start. Because when Tom was photographed holding on to her bag a few years ago, some people were like, oh what a pussy, a man shouldn’t be carrying around his woman’s bag.

Really? A husband being helpful to his wife diminishes his “manhood”? Is that how we’re raising our sons? THAT is precisely the kind of sh-t that needs to die.