Gisele Bundchen arrived with baby Benjamin in Miami yesterday after spending a few days in Paris for Fashion Week.


Why Miami? It’s Monday night bitches. And Sanctimonious Supermodel Supermother is there to cheer on the Patriots as New England takes on my Dolphins. Both are 2 and 1. Both want to join the Jets at 3 and 1. I hate the f-cking Jets. Yeah, sit your drunk driver on the bench for a short quarter then play him right away. There’s a message.

But I digress.

At the end of tonight, the ideal conclusion is for Miami to sit atop the division with Rex Ryan’s douchebags, and Tom Brady to go home with a loss, accompanied by his wife and child. Maybe think about a haircut.

Oh this ongoing discussion about his hair...

Apparently when asked in an interview about it, and why he wasn’t cutting it, Tom replied:

“You’ll have to speak to my wife about that.”

Needless to say, that elicited more of the same lame locker room “he’s a pussy” humour that only appeals to balding paunchy fat f-cks on sports radio who think they’re kings because they drink for free at the local pub. Please.

I don’t have a problem with him deferring to his wife on his hair issues. But I do have a problem with his wife’s terrible timing with respect to hair issues. She has no clue. Again, I repeat, the Patriots were undefeated going into the Super Bowl against the Giants and she told him to cut his hair. I was with Michelle and Dylan and I called it during the warm-up right away. He cut his hair, the Patriots are going down. And they did.

...the f-ck???

Why are you messing with a streak?

And now, why are you keeping this streak going when their defence continues to give up too many points? Now would be the time to change things up. No, woah, wait, actually, not now. But after tonight. After tonight’s loss would be the time to change things up.

Photos from and