After a succession of mediocre episodes, Gossip Girl came roaring back last night, taking it back to the basics, no more Mary Kay Letourneau, a limited amount of Humphrey, central focus on Blair Waldorf, the series’ best character, and what’s shaping up to be a love showdown to end all showdowns.


You know you love it.

And thanks to all of you for your emails about Ed Westwick’s trip to Miami with Jessica Szohr last weekend during which he paraded around the pool with nothing on top of his jeans.

Can we definitively conclude that he is not gay? And that he’s revolting? And this is why it’s called a ShameF-ck? Because if I was PROUD of wanting him, why would feel ashamed? I KNOW he’s a nasty bitch. This is why I would never tell you. That’s the definition.

Lara, I know you’re with me on this one.

Our weekly chat is below. It eventually led to some nostalgia over Reality Bites. You see what GG can inspire?

Gossip Girl Weekly

Michelle: i forgot about the art consultant

Lainey: i hate chuck's face when the hooker lady says goodbye

Duana: I hate that the hooker lady had to apparently be cut around because she was so bad.

Michelle: i like that it's. Let’s showcase some boots

Michelle: Tripp. Who's actually names Tripp?

Lainey: rich people. With yellow sweaters. Also, Tripp is ugly.

Duana: Tripp is so freaky-earnest it's freaking me out. I don't know what to say about people who approach on the sidewalk, deliver information, and leave again.

Michelle: And purple for Chuck. I see.

Michelle: He's driving a Maserati. Nice touch.

Lainey: and rich people also say "grandfather" instead of "grandpa"

Michelle: I love Serena's headboard. Is that new?

Lainey: do you buy it that Dan watches sporting events?

Michelle: Kinda.

Michelle: Is Serena growing dreads?

Lainey: hahahahahah

Duana: Didn't Blair reference that Serena would be a dirty hippie at Brown? This must be her just getting started.

Lainey: laptop hides baby bump!

Michelle: They had to get the bigger screen laptop!

Duana: And shoot the whole thing in amazing Kelly Rutherford side-profile.

Michelle: Bitch vs bitch. I love it.

Lainey: kelly rutherford is so underrated as an actress. for reals.

Michelle: I agree!

Duana: This is the woman I want to be. So cool, so incredibly chill 'Oh, you did, huh? Sounds good to me'

Michelle: Are Nate and Dan wearing matching zip ups?

Lainey: bromance on the upper east side

Michelle: Talking about that... what happened to the gay storyline?

Lainey: will Nate be modelling this entire episode???

Michelle: His hair is extra this ep

Lainey: um...rufus's shirt is too low cut. he's grossing me out. meets his weekly quota.

Lainey: lists... oh bad idea.

Lainey: J and i were stoned one night when i decided to ask him about an old girlfriend. That evening ended badly.

Duana: I originally read this as 'in high school'. Which, really, is when people should be doing this list.

Michelle: Bare legs in winter? c'mon

Lainey: tripp is wearing yellow pants too?

Michelle: Why are Vanessa AND Dan at Nate's family reunion? Lame

Michelle: Double trouble.

Michelle: About the yellow not Vanessa and Dan.

Lainey: why is vanessa's only role to solve other people's problems? Veronica Mars of the UES?

Duana: First: That's not what Veronica does. She often causes problems. She loves MYSTERIES. Second: Did you write that just KNOWING it was an easy flare-up-Du moment?

Lainey: Yes. And it worked. And you’re always going on about my affinity for infants so I’m owed.

Lainey: do rich people always clap in unison?

Duana: And doesn't his grandfather kind of look a little molesty? Yes, I said it.

Michelle: Return of inappropriate nightwear! Sweet!


Duana: Do you know what I love about this? Before the dude was revealed, I totally went 'Oh yeah, because that's Blair's version of sweats'. Which actually, I think it still is.

Michelle: Chuck in plaid. Discuss.

Lainey: so beautiful. i love it. he's in saviour mode.

Michelle: Maybe that means Vanessa and Chuck will get together?

Lainey: i love V's sweater/cardigan

Michelle: Me too. Very Anthropologie!

Duana: See, I thought she looked like a tiny boy in this scene.

Michelle: (Can't wait until it opens in Toronto Aprill 22!!!!)

Lainey: what are nate's shoes???

Michelle: Sketchers?

Michelle: And how lany layers is he wearing? 4?

Lainey: his styling sucks.

Lainey: i love the word legacy. i want one.

Michelle: Lainey Legacy. Buy the domain.

Lainey: I thought all private school people are or have legacies. No? We can start one just for us...

Lainey: B's style post-Yale. Discuss.

Michelle: Blair has the best lines!

Michelle: Red lipstick...

Michelle: Crazy trench... and stealing. I likey.

Michelle: Where is Dorota? She would put an end to this.

Lainey: I love a scheming Serena. And Chuck hasn't changed once this episode.

Duana: I want whatever those sunglasses are - does that make me shallow?

Lainey: that’s your criteria for shallow? Have you not met you? or us?

Michelle: No one has changed except Blair. Although she was probably wearing that nighty underneath that trench.

Michelle: List... ya bad idea.

Michelle: Gossip Girl does The Wedding Crashers?

Lainey: now i want to pull out the dvd. That scene was HILARIOUS - remember what Vince Vaughn was wearing?

Michelle: Maybe a yellow sweater?!

Duana: Remember when Vince Vaughn loved me in the interview and Owen Wilson wouldn't talk so in order for there not to be dead air I had to speak and then Michelle was mad at me?

Lainey: Didn’t McAdams love you too? On the plane?

Lainey: This fiancee girl's moderated voice is grating on me.

Michelle: I'd like to hear her debate Serena.

Michelle: All these New York city shots make me want to visit!

Duana: Yes please - we are all overdue for a NYC long weekend. If we were ambitious we could go and watch them shooting, while denying we'd ever do such a thing.

Lainey: This boy reminds me of Ryan Philllippe.

Michelle: But taller.

Michelle: Am I dumb? What is Serena talking about?

Lainey: how many people did Serena murder during cocaine fueled binges? in Santorini!?!?!

Michelle: Seriously. But I like a hidden past...

Lainey: that was nice penmanship

Michelle: but we didn't get to see Rufus'

Michelle: Oh Little J REALLY has no story lines.

Michelle: Except to walk around like skeletor.

Lainey: don't complain. i prefer it this way. maybe not the starving though

Lainey: can V spend ONE episode NOT worrying?

Michelle: Last week she delivered notes. This week frozen peas. She deserves a BIT more.

Michelle: Did Veronica Mars ever rest?

Duana: No. She did not. But she got to kiss evil boys and go to dances as a decoy while she was not resting. It was super fun.

Lainey: where's Waldorf!

Michelle: I laughed outloud.

Lainey: ps. that's really Polish. J confirmed it.

Michelle: amazing! what did she say? rewind!

Lainey: pause.

Michelle: paused

Lainey: Polish: have you gone mad you asshole. i'm working for miss blair, not for you. what are you thinking?

Lainey: play!

Michelle: Yay Jacek!

Michelle: playing

Lainey: Nate looks really pretty in green.

Lainey: this "grandfather" business - who talks like this???

Michelle: seriously.

Lainey: i'm so over V being selfless.

Lainey: are Nate and V having sex? Have we been informed of this yet?

Duana: Yeah, remember it was 1/8th of a plot point awhile back? and then they started...I don't know what, kissing in an elevator? Oh, Fall Gossip Girl, you confused us.

Michelle: Polanski!

Michelle: I love the cultural references. It makes me feel smart.

Michelle: But then I remember I'm watching GG.

Lainey: what just happened? i'm so confused...

Michelle: Blair went to beg for a spot at Sarah Lawrence.

Lainey: blair's descent better last at least 2 eps.

Michelle: agreed.

Lainey: S's matron dress. so unflattering.

Michelle: And her hair... very Aniston.

Lainey: LOOOOOVE Blair's bandeau dress.

Lainey: can we keep this Blair? i love this Blair.

Duana: But see, this is it. Like, I love when she's ridiculously out of control yet immaculate.

Michelle: Where are Blair's parents? Oh wait they're Chuck and Serena

Lainey: Social eulogy. I need Chuck's screenwriter.

Michelle: Vanessa's hair is much better down.

Lainey: If you had a family crest, what would be on it?

Michelle: cheese

Lainey: hahahahahaha

Michelle: yours?

Lainey: mah jong tile

Michelle: nice.

Duana: I would have the international cartoon lines of loud voices.

Lainey: i don't find Tripp attractive. And he's within my age requirement.

Michelle: No he looks about 23. WAY too old.

Lainey: Ah...yes... you're right.

Duana: And he has stupidly sculpted hair.

Michelle: And no British accent.

Michelle: Seriously now. Leighton Meister is the best thing about this show.

Lainey: her ass... wow.

Duana: If you want to make Veronica Mars references, Leighton was the only one on that show who could put VM in her place. Seriously, go watch her as Blair Waldorf's predecessor, Carrie Bishop. She's amazing.

Lainey: ew! his mouth! is gross!

Michelle: And you're surprised?

Lainey: i LOVE the drama of a 17 year old. She truly believes what she's saying.

Lainey: this ep is way better than the last few.

Michelle: You're right on both counts. I'm trying to remember what I was so passionate about at 17.

Duana: But this is the thing. You can convince yourself of anything or anyone at that age.

Lainey: oh la. Blair and Nate. I feel it.

Michelle: Well at least they actually have chemistry.

Lainey: i don't understand why boys these days are wearing their hair like elves. Look - his ear is on display!

Michelle: First we must address the hair straightening.

Michelle: Interesting Blair cries with Nate but with no one else, right?

Lainey: salient point, to borrow from Duana. What does this mean?

Lainey: Like returning to the womb, i think.

Michelle: she's in a safe place for sure.

Michelle: Wait a second. It's like they're actually acting. I’m impressed.

Lainey: i like this scene. it's very, very sweet.

Michelle: she's actually soft.

Lainey: serena looks awful with straight hair. and ordinary.

Duana: This is her secret. NOT ACTUALLY anything special, SHOW.

Michelle: and then there's this scene.

Michelle: Serena and Dan. Blah

Michelle: Yes exactly Aniston.

Lainey: chinese food hide baby bump!

Michelle: Extra large Chicken Balls!

Michelle: Notice how Vanessa and Blair are kind of dressed alike.

Michelle: Cream cardigan, hair half up, gold necklace

Lainey: yes. you're right.

Lainey: blair's getting turned on by nate's speech. amazing.

Duana: Wouldn't you?

Lainey: I can see how it could be an aphrodisiac in some circles, yes.

Michelle: What is Chuck going to do?

Michelle: He's going to lose his sh-t.

Lainey: the santorini dude was an easier challenge.

Michelle: There's an obvious problem...

Lainey: i'm listening...

Michelle: Chuck hasn't worn purple ALL episode.

Lainey: because he's losing her.

Michelle: Well he won't find her with that bow tie on.

Duana: Oh Michelle. I like a bow tie secretly.

Michelle: When are Vanessa and Dan going to get together?

Lainey: so now i feel badly for V. I actually liked her with Nate.

Duana: They need to get her into school so she can actually interact with someone. I think I would hate her less if she was, like, dealing with Nelly Yuki also

Michelle: But she made a good tiny food joke!

Lainey: see Lily's glasses? My mom's in white?

Michelle: Soooo true!

Michelle: I want Dorota to yell in Polish again.

Lainey: this is hurting me. Chuck being turned away is hurting me.

Michelle: He should storm up there.

Lainey: ohhhhhhhhh yessssss....

Michelle: niiiiiiice

Duana: Deliciously satisfying...

Lainey: see now GG comes roaring back.

Lainey: scenes from the next was good. i don't think you saw those...?

Michelle: I didn't see the scenes. What happens?

Lainey: Redemption in the form of Blair and Nate and Chuck triangle. Everything old is indeed new again.

Lainey: Little J sweet 16 party disaster and V and C get back at B and N.

Duana: When did little J skip 15??

Lainey: I can't wait til next week. Seriously.

Michelle: For some reason that episode made me nostalgic for Reality Bites.

Lainey: reality bites. can we PLEASE live chat that movie???

Michelle: we MUST

Lainey: we should totally do it! when's the last time you saw it?

Michelle: It's been probably 5 years.

Lainey: Longer for me, i think. Ok, this we must do.

Duana: Um, my ethan hawke love endures...

Lainey: bedtime now. Make the rains go away!

Michelle: good night!

Lainey: nighy!

Lainey: night!

Lainey: and bill nighy too. because i love him

Michelle: ha!

Michelle: i think i will dream of Troy.

Lainey: i will dream of chuck. i love him again.

Michelle: but the mouth!

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