Before we begin, let’s agree on one fundamental about Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale:

Between the two of them, Gwen is the bigger deal.

That’s not up for dispute. Like, back in the 90s, Gavin Rossdale might have had a moment, but come on now, Gwen Stefani is the superstar in this relationship. And as Duana texted me last night, who could she have been if she saw herself as she is? That’s the prerequisite to any discussion that follows.

TMZ was the first to report yesterday that Gwen filed for divorce from Gavin citing irreconcilable differences. Then Gavin filed his response asking for joint custody. He’s retained the services of Laura Wasser whose client list has included Angelina Jolie, Ashton Kutcher, Mimi, Ryan Reynolds… basically she gets it done. TMZ claims there’s no prenup and that Gwen is worth more than double what Gavin is worth. Apparently Gwen indicated on her divorce petition that she does not want to give him any spousal support. This is the statement they released:

"While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment. To that end, we respectfully request privacy from the media during this time."

According to US Weekly, this was a “long time coming”. Apparently they’d worked out an arrangement months ago and at this point the paperwork is just a formality. One source tells the magazine that Gwen and Gavin had had problems before the birth of Apollo – who’s now a year and a half – and while they tried to make it past their differences, ultimately they couldn’t line themselves up.

TMZ then followed up with a post last night, supporting the US claim that they’d been in trouble for some time and adding that part of the problem was that Gwen “believed he was cheating on her”. There have long been rumours about Gavin in Hollywood. Rumours about his voracious appetite. Rumours about multiples. This should not be a surprise to anyone. The surprise here is that Gwen is finally ready for it. Because if you know anything about their history, you know that Gwen was always the one who loved more. At the beginning, for five minutes, he was the bigger deal. And she was almost…grateful, remember? Grateful that he paid attention. I mean listen to her lyrics. She tells you everything you need to know in her lyrics. Listen to Simple Kind Of Life. Go back and listen to Ex-Girlfriend. And the most obvious one, Underneath It All. She pined for him. She waited for him. And then professionally she became more than him. But that stays with you. The longing, that feeling that he could have had anyone and he chose her. No matter what, no matter that no one gives a sh-t about Gavin Rossdale anymore beyond the fact that he was married to her, she was always, still, that person.

So the fact that Gwen is ready to walk now? What was it that made her say “enough” when she’d already endured more than enough for so long? Or, really, did she have a choice in the matter? I hope she did. I hope the choice was hers to make and that it wasn’t made for her. That would be the good news in a sh-tty situation.