F*ck the recipes and the London gastro-scene…right? Coming from my Gwyneth, it’s the CLOTHES you care about.

And so after 2 previous newsletters, and much pleading from many of you to be accepted, Gwyneth’s GOOPy team has apparently finally sorted out their launch pains – most should have received their newsletters now.

If you still haven’t… maybe you eat too much red meat?

Anyway, this week’s installment has arrived. And it’s the best yet.

Because Gwyneth is teaching you how to dress GOOPy. How to wear what she wears. Even though Tracy Anderson isn’t training you for 2 hours in your own custom exercise studio nestled on the apple orchard on your property.

And still…even IF you had an apple orchard with Tracy Anderson, you still have to be 5 ft 9 and rail thin anyway.

Then again, common sense doesn’t always rule our decisions. She’s not the first exploit this truth. And she won’t be the last.

So here it is:

This is Gwyneth’s “uniform”. A series of clothing options for the busy mom – she says she lives in these combinations for comfort and style…

And without a doubt, the look is totally classic.

But what about the cost?

This is why I worship my girl.

It’s a tough economy. This week has been a bloodbath. But whatever… my Gwyneth wants you to consider adding these items to your closet:

A TOD’s cashmere coat!

TOD’s! Cashmere!

That’s a f&cking mortgage payment! For real!

And …a necklace.

From CHOPARD!

CHOPARD!!!

I can’t even afford to walk inside Chopard!

Le sigh.

Isn’t she amazing?

She’s amazing.

She is Gwyneth Paltrow, clad head to toe in Tod’s and Balenciaga (ok so maybe I’m already all over that purple change pouch), is not afraid to share her wardrobe secrets with you…because ultimately she knows you’ll never look as good as she does anyway.

F*ck I love her.

So much.

There’s more from Gwyneth’s style guide including what she wore on Oprah – it was a hot outfit – but you have to subscribe to GOOP.com. She’d like you to…but she doesn’t care either way.