Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were out for dinner on Saturday night. They went to the Chateau Marmont. Not exactly low profile. I feel like we’ve seen them together more often since they consciously uncoupled than we did when they were consciously coupled. It’s so Gwyneth, isn’t it? It’s so spectacularly Gwyneth.

What do you do when you’re the best at everything, better than anyone else? When you’re better at being tall, at being popular, at being connected, at being friends, at being fit, at being vegan, at being privileged, at being Celebrity. And then your marriage doesn’t work out?

If you’re Gwyneth, the ONLY way to go about it is to be better, the best, at being divorced. First you rebrand it as “conscious uncoupling” and then you let everyone know that no one can do it as well as you can – civilised and graceful. Can you imagine this?

Ellen: Gwyneth, you’re just, you’re just so good at EVERYTHING, you’re even good at divorce! Is there anything you can’t do well?!

Gwyneth: (modest chuckle, downcast eyes, and then smugly) Well…

OK but did he always have those marks on his neck? Just bruises from surfing, I’m sure.

Coldplay’s Ghost Stories drops today. So far, most of the mainstream reviews, especially in America, are pretty decent. I’m not sure I’ve heard the same songs these people are. Because, as already mentioned, so many times, to me they’re embarrassingly bad. Like, campus band bad. Still, the critics and music experts are calling it a solid release. And then …there’s the review at The Quietus. Click here to read it.