I love Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOPy scrapbooks! Enough with the f-cking recipes and the childcare tips and the goddamn spirituality zen lessons. THIS is her voice. This is Gwyneth at her annoying, whiney, self-indulgent best and, as such, it is Awesome. Because it is Good for Gossip.

GOOP’s new newsletter focuses on her trip to the Emmys. She was ASKED TO PRESENT. Because SHE WON AN EMMY, have you heard?

Before that though, even though it has nothing to do with the Emmys, she starts off by telling us that she had to spend the night before in Paris for a friend’s birthday party. Just, you know, in case you weren’t aware how busy and how hectic her life is. Running around Paris for parties and all.

Then she gets a facial and someone comes to do her hair and her makeup and she goes to the show and OF COURSE she poses with Tina Fey, because Lorne Michaels loves her, as does the entire SNL cast and crew - for real, you should read the book - and she says her arms look fat and she has too many chins which, I kinda loved that comment, and the fact that she included the photo on her site because that’s the luxury you have when you don’t actually have fat arms and everyone knows it.

What’s generating the most attention however is the comment she makes about her seat. Many of you have emailed about it already:

It’s a minute to show time, and I find my seat in the second row (right behind the cast of 30 Rock!) The seat filler before me was sweaty … so my chair was wet. Gross!

Because this is Gwyneth, and Gwyneth can do no right, people are now calling her a bitch.

You know I love to sh-t on Gwyneth whenever possible. Totally and always. I love her and I love to sh-t on her. But come on now...

If you sat on a seat that was WET FROM SOMEONE ELSE’S SWEAT, wouldn’t you find it gross? Please. Just picture it. My friend Lorella is skeeved out if the seat is just “warm” from the previous sitter. So imagine if it’s WET FROM SWEAT??? I find it gross. Really, really, REALLY gross. As my other friend Emily just said, it’s gross when someone sweats on you, unless you’re having sex with them. It’s not snotty, it’s not stuck-up, it’s a FACT. Sitting IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SWEAT IS GROSS!!!

Call her out for having her head up her ass because of her namechecking, her Parisian parties, her making movie musicals with Ryan Murphy, her being the only person in the world who’s allowed to called Lenny Kravitz “Leonard”, her sucky country warbling, her pretentious cooking, call her out on all of that...

I’m right there with you. Let’s do all of that:

She’s pretentious, she’s eyerolly about Lenny Leonard, she doesn’t deserve a movie musical, her recipes are sh-t, there, GWYNETH PALTROW SUCKS, GWYNETH PALTROW SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS and I’m bagging on her and it’s really, really fun!

But I’m sorry I CANNOT call her a bitch for writing about how GROSS it is to SIT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SWEAT. Hating on her for that is a stretch.

I’d much rather call her a twat for having to mention YET AGAIN that the teleprompter was busted so she had to “ad lib”. There. Hate on her for that.

Click here to enjoy GOOP’s full newsletter.

And attached - Coldplay was at CTV all day yesterday in Toronto for a series of interviews and a concert at MuchMusic. Dylan was the behind-the-scenes camera, following them around morning to night, backstage, all access everywhere, for an upcoming one hour special that will air on CTV when the new album drops.

He said they were very polite. I believe his exact words were “gentlemanly”, and that was the general consensus among my colleagues. That all the guys are very nice, including Chris Martin who made Shi blush when he called her “young lady”. Michelle was a little fluttery too because he walked by her desk twice and she’s had a crush on him since the Junos in Calgary when she produced our etalk lounge and turned into a teenager which... this is not usually Michelle’s style. I guess, then, he’s only foul when he has to be supportive of his wife. Great. We should definitely blame her for that, right? Always, always the woman and never, never the lead singer of a rock band because you like their songs.

Photos from INF