Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin spent the long weekend together, sort of, in the Hamptons. They hung out with their kids. They were photographed walking home with them. Then he went back, on his own, to his rental house across the street. At which point the internet exploded with nude pictures of his new girlfriend. And people tried to be funny on social media about whether or not it was G who initiated the leak. Of course she didn't. But how does she feel about it?

When G was with Brad Pitt, they were papped naked on holiday once, you remember? Like full bush. So, you see, G wouldn't be smug about the situation to Jennifer Lawrence. What she'd do instead is take the opportunity to sympathise...and remind her that she was once the angel of Brad Pitt's life. Chris Martin's had a hang-up about that for a while. That's more my G's style.