It’s my Gwyneth last night feting Valentino at a screening and then afterparty for The Last Emperor, a documentary about the designer’s legendary life and career. Seriously…it’s sublime. Click here for the trailer. When he says “I would eat them!” you will DIE. And of course Gwynnie’s in it. Of course she is.

She is his muse. They have been close for a long time. She vacations on his yacht. Much less now with the children, but even when Apple was a baby, they were photographed on holiday with Mr Valentino, bobbing on the calm waters of the Mediterranean as guests of the famed and ferociously orange Italian.

Naturally then she was on his arm last night in New York. As usual, he appears to be besotted with her. I however am not besotted with her dress. It’s terrible. Frumpy and lumpy and those shoes are boring ass and beneath her, especially given her recent footwear.

Gwyneth was also joined by her mother Blyth Danner and later on, her Kabbie bestie Madonna who showed up to honour Valentino without her pretend boyfriend Jesus and proceeded to tuck herself into a booth where the two talked sh-t about people all night.

Madge and Gwyneth, just like us!

You will note, G is wearing her red string but not her wedding ring…which says nothing about the marriage but everything about her devotion to the Kab.

Photos from and Ron Asadorian/Jackson Lee/ and Stephen Lovekin/