Not gonna lie. I can’t wait to watch Glee with GOOP. And two episodes too!

How you doin’? You ok? Overcome with irritation? It’s only September. Her movie comes out in December. We have three months to go. Somehow you’ll have to manage your GOOP stress.

Anyway, conveniently, after the story broke yesterday that she’d soon be available on television, my Gwyneth was seen last night in London after dinner at Locanda Locatelli. Lorella and I ate there just before flying home a couple weeks ago. It’s one of my favourite things ever – going to an Italian restaurant with an Italian. And especially an Italian who really, really knows her food.

Lorella has two kitchens. She can cook almost anything. She makes her own sauces. She has dinner parties and plans menus weeks in advance. And then she prepares everything, from scratch, herself, and creates the craziest flavours, and then serves it in the loveliest way possible, without making everyone feel like a pretentious asshole who speaks out of her nose.

So yeah Lorella knows about food. And above all things she knows her Italian food. And she wanted to go to Locanda Locatelli. Why would I argue?

I had the Insalata di calamari alla griglia (Char grilled squid, chilli and garlic) – it was perfect, perfect texture, if you like that sort of thing, where the inside wasn’t quite cooked and almost melted in your mouth. Amazing and approved by Lorella.

Lo and Mio ordered the Malfatti ripieni di ricotta, noci e melanzane (homemade parcels filled with ricotta, walnut and aubergines) to start. Lo will order anything with eggplant. She was really impressed.

I decided on Ravioli di coda alla vaccinara (homemade ox tail ravioli). Chinese people love oxtail. And when you smother it in carbs and cheese and the most delightful tomato creamy sauce, well, now I want to fly back and do it all over again.

Lorella’s selection though, naturally, was the ultimate test. She had the Vitello al saltimbocca, parmigiana di melanzane e finferli (veal with Parma ham and sage, baked aubergine and girolle mushrooms) and it’s because this isn’t a menu item you’ll find at many half ass Italian restaurants. It’s apparently a specialty. Like, you have to know your sh-t to be able to have the balls to offer it. And if you offer it and it’s not good, it’s an embarrassment. And Italians will let you know that you’re an embarrassment. Lorella ordered it and Lorella loved it.

It’s really just a nice restaurant, very welcoming, without too many bells and whistles, reasonably well lit, great service, the music isn’t loud and intrusive, and, at least when we were there, not full of skeezy rich people eying each other. Click here for the full menu.

Photos from