Gwyneth Paltrow debuted #7 on The New York Times Bestseller List. Sigh of relief for her because she came ahead of Eva Longoria’s cookbook…in its 2nd week. Eva’s book in its first week entered at #5. This would not impress G’s friends.

But now she gets to add “NY Times Bestselling Author” to her list of accomplishments including:

-Oscar-winning actress
-Oscar performer
-Grammy performer
-Mother of Amazingness
-Web entrepreneur
-Fit skinny bitch

Oh and one more thing:

Coach Ambassador

Page Six reported it last week, now the brand has confirmed that Gwyneth will indeed be the face of its international 70th anniversary campaign for Fall 2011 and Spring 2012. The ads have already been shot and they’ll run all over Asia and Europe. But not North America…? Curious.

Said G of the opportunity:

“I grew up in New York City and I’ve always thought of Coach as the quintessential New York brand. I’ll never forget getting my first Coach bag.”

What Gwyneth isn’t saying there is that Coach wasn’t just her first bag, it was her starter bag. Probably when she was 12. Is it her Now bag? Would Gwyneth wear Coach if they weren’t paying her a lot of money to wear Coach? Please.

This is nothing against Coach. But Coach is not Tod’s. Entirely different price point. And if you recall, not too long ago, G was a Tod’s girl. Officially. Tod’s was the brand of the then-Gwyneth: the one who wasn’t trying so desperately to be accepted by the MiniVan Majority, the one who never apologised for being a judgy privileged superior.

The new Gwyneth wants you to believe she’s accessible. The brand of the new accessible Gwyneth, therefore, has become Coach. She’ll make sure she’s carrying it around of course when she needs you to see her, but in private? Around Stella and Beyonce and Jessica Seinfeld, for Christ’s sake, do you really think Gwyneth would show up in Coach? Jessica Seinfeld probably uses Coach the way the rest of use a Ziploc bag.

And now her friend Gwyneth is pimping for them?

Someone is awfully committed to this new career...

And we shouldn’t hold it against her. Because, as Chelsea Handler says – and Sasha earlier too (click here for Sasha’s column today) she’s just doing what she loves and f-ck you to the haters if you don’t like it.

G made a visit to Chelsea Lately this week. They do share a publicist, you know. And they talked about how awful their grandmothers were and then Gwyneth called hers a c-nt. I thought that part was funny. I like it when she swears.

I also love the part when Chelsea says “look at you, you skinny minny” and G just smiles and says nothing. See? That’s the old her! The real her!