Hey moms,

Gwyneth Paltrow worked really, really hard to lose her baby weight. It was stubborn and wouldn’t come off. Slimming down was “the hardest thing” she’s ever done. But she stayed motivated, and with the help of a personal PERSONAL trainer, like at her house all the time, and two hours a day, and a gym on her property, she totally did it – yay!

Since she could do it, YOU should be able to do it. GOOP won’t accept your real life realities. Jobs? Money shortage? Child care issues? Exhausted from all the work and no nannies and no housekeepers? F-ck that. You just didn’t want it as badly as she did. You’re just lazy. She is judging your laziness with her highlights – lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy:

"Every woman can make time - every woman - and you can do it with your baby in the room. There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them." (Source Huffington Post)

Oh that’s the best part, non? If you don’t find time to get fit, it’s just not IMPORTANT enough to you.

Are you seething?


You should be used to it. This is my Gwyneth at her snotty elitist best.

Here are two new stills of G in Love Don’t Let Me Down. She plays a “washed up” country singer trying to claw her way back. Washed up suddenly means pretty and fresh. Apparently GOOP had to gain 10 pounds for the role because her character couldn’t look toned. I’m not seeing this change.

G will sing in the movie, and was coached by her husband Chris Martin.

“He was so helpful, so sweet and encouraging. I mean, it's embarrassing to be playing in front of your husband, especially when he's in one of the world's most successful bands. He is so great because he's so supportive of me as an artist... I really lucked out with him. He's deeply lovely and special.”

And your life is truly perfect.

Gwyneth told Vogue that Love Don’t Let Me Down will be released at the end of the year. Which means they think it could be a quality film. And if it is, look out. You think she’s smug now???