Gwyneth Paltrow was in Hong Kong yesterday to promote GOOP amid reports that GOOP is losing money. She also lost her CEO and work-husband. Here’s a shot she posted on Instagram:

I’m telling you. The Year of the Horse is sh-t for Rats! And next year, it’ll be sh-t for the Ox. That’s me. So tighten up, people. Be vigilant.

Is G hoping for some Chinese cash to boost her brand? And a new romance to go along with it?

Supposedly her friend Jennifer Aniston is trying to set her up with Orlando Bloom. Supposedly G mentioned in passing to Jen that she was attracted to Orly. And now Jen wants to plan a dinner party to hook them up.

But wait.

The source is HEAT Magazine. And they’re not exactly legit.

Still, it might be worth entertaining. There’s the Kate Bosworth connection, for starters. And then, you remember last year at the MET Gala what G said about Miranda Kerr? How she patronised Miranda Kerr? Click here for a refresher.

But while a G-Bloom pairing certainly has its merits, at the same time, Orly isn’t exactly killing it professionally right now. He might even be an almost-has-been. Right now, at this stage in his career, Orly is not Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, not even Chris Martin. Also he’s not a Tiger. We’re looking for a Tiger right now to complement Gwyneth’s Rat.

Speaking of Chris Martin, he was in London yesterday to promote the new Coldplay album. The band was on BBC Radio 1 for a Live Lounge performance of that sh-tty song Magic and a new equally sh-tty song Oceans.

How are these acceptable tracks? And if these are the songs that made the cut, can you imagine how bad the other ones were?

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