Gwyneth Paltrow covers the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar. But this shot on the cover? It has nothing to do with the photos in the magazine. In the magazine she’s at the supermarket, shopping in several different black outfits and bodysuits. She looks amazing. She looks ridiculous. I particularly like this shot, of her at the checkout, surrounded by all her past covers – and some Cliff bars – with a couple of senior citizens gaping in dismay:

What might surprise you about this cover feature is that the interviewer is Samantha Bee. Samantha Bee does not hang out with the Hollywood Moms, Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Meyer, etc. Samantha Bee is not a Hollywood ass-kisser. So… I feel like we have to believe here that Samantha Bee wasn’t forced to do this. And if she was doing it satirically, it certainly doesn’t read that way. Is it ruining your week to think that Samantha Bee might like Gwyneth Paltrow? There’s nothing new in the discussion. G is promoting goop Label, the new clothing line. She talks about how she deals with criticism, the time her dad called her an “asshole”, and turning 40 as the cut-off age for asshole behaviour. Back to Sam Bee though, maybe she only agreed to participate so that she could ask one very, very important question: What is Beyoncé really like?


God I can just imagine G rolling around in a bed full of smug right about this entire interview. Not only because Samantha Bee is the one sort of endorsing her but that in the process she’s also reminding us all that G is one of the few people who KNOWS Beyoncé. Here then is what G has to say about B:

GP: If you met her and you didn't know who she was or what she did, it would be inconceivable to you that she was Beyoncé. Some really famous people, even when they're off-duty, have this energy that is sort of overpowering. She does not have that. She is so dialed down. She's the sweetest mother. She's very shy. You would not believe she is Beyoncé Knowles. You would be like, "No, that was not her." And that's why when I see her perform, I'm like, "Oh, shit, I forgot."

SB: Like, "I forgot you did this stuff!" I just thought you were the lady who made grilled cheese!"

GP: She doesn't make grilled cheese. Definitely not. I make the grilled cheese.

This made me laugh. Like there’s a limit to Beyoncé’s “down-to-earthness”. In private she’s shy, she puts the YONCE on pause. But f-ck no, we draw the line at making her own goddamn grilled cheese sandwiches.

Click here to read the full interview between Gwyneth and Samantha Bee for Harper’s Bazaar and to see more photos.