Can’t wait for regular minivan mommies to read Gwyneth Paltrow’s new interview with Harper’s Bazaar and sh*t on her all over again. By all accounts, from many many people who actually know her, including several we met during our travels in Cannes, my Gwynnie is, like, the sweetest person ever. She is generous, she is kind, she is not condescending, she is fun to be around, and she is through and through a total girl’s girl.

To be honest, this was not a truth I found comforting.

I like my Gwyneth cold and bitchy. I like the way she sounds in interviews. I like the interpretation of her as a snot ass elitist. To know that she is nice almost broke my heart.

Am thankful then for the Harper’s interview. For the most part she is lovely. But there are a few golden moments. Moments when her judgement comes shining through. She judges the way only Gwyneth can judge. And the haters will love to hate her for it.

G talks about working out like mad and kicking up her fitness regimen lately with Madonna and their trainer Tracy Anderson who she actually introduced to M (sidebar for a second – no one in the inner circle calls Madonna “Madonna”. They call her M. Are you going to M’s house? I have to call M. M and I are at the gym. M and Gwyneth apparently talk on the phone all the time. Carry on) after meeting her in Los Angeles.

Gwyneth thinks of Tracy as a genius.
“She"s literally a genius. She"s completely changed my body. (You work on her body reformer) for 10 days, and by the end of it you"ve lost like 11 inches.”

Before I worked out with a trainer, I would have read and been like – bull f&cking sh-t. Now I totally believe. My trainer Hayley McGowan has changed my life – physically of course but also psychologically. All of a sudden, I NEED to work out. Almost miss the days when I could take a nap, guilt-free. Damn Hayley.

And Gwyneth would agree. She says it’s about a lifestyle. Nothing offensive about that. Until she declares that hitting the gym is also about vanity. And this is when the judgement comes in:

“All the negative things have actually ended up being really positive because they"ve kick-started me into thinking how I want to look for the rest of my life. And you know, I don"t want to look like a mother who doesn"t care. For myself, for my work, and for my relationship, I want to look good."

Oh no she didn’t. Oh yes she did.

If you don"t work out, it means you don"t care.

And that’s the sound of moms everywhere, rising up together in a wave of indignation against the perfect Paltrow hag with more money and much more time.


Of course in the next breath Gwyneth also discusses going back to work and shooting Two Lovers last fall for a couple of months in New York – an experience from which she has emerged feeling "(artistically sated), quenched, exhausted, empowered, and liberated, like I"m ready to go back and be a mommy for six months and not do any work at all!"

And she’s totally earned it, non?

Finally… just to twist that knife in your eyeball and take the loathing up to the next level, my Gwynnie’s recent shopping expedition in New York during which she admits to doing some “serious damage”. Something we can all relate to, absolutely.

But can you relate to this?

"I bought an amazing Alexander McQueen dress—black, perfect, unbelievable fit—a McQueen blazer and two sweaters, a beautiful floral Cavalli dress, a few things from the Row, and a couple of Balenciaga dresses. Four, actually, embarrassingly enough."

I love that Gwyneth wears The Row. The Olsens design for Gwyneth. Can you stand it?

Click here for the full Harper’s Bazaar Gwyneth Paltrow article. Images from the magazine are attached. My best friend has never looked better.