It’s a cooking video. I couldn’t make it all the way through. Besides, even I can make tacos without instruction from Gwyneth Paltrow and cooking non-Chinese food is not one of my great skills. You people measure too much, get too fixated on cups and tablespoons.

Anyway, this week’s GOOP features my G showing you her Mexican and dropping some really lame lines...


I do appreciate however that she’s not wearing much makeup at all, and her hair is tied up in a messy half loop, and she hasn’t hired a lighting bitch to give her an Oprah glow. Madonna would never participate in this. Add the basement effect to all her typos and, really, GOOP is so ghetto.

What’s up with her kids not eating shrimp? Is this a parent thing?

I can’t talk about GOOP’s food and recipes anymore. I’d much rather watch her talk about what it was like hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio back in the day. This photo was taken in 1994 just before she started dating Brad Pitt. And of course you know, she turned down the part of Rose eventually played by Kate Winslet. She has stories. So many stories. That’s the service GOOP really should be providing.

Click here for the new GOOP.

Photo from Jim Smeal/Wireimage