Did you know she’s been nominated for one? This, in part, is why she’ll be there on Sunday. And also to present.

G is up for Best Spoken Word Album For Children (Brown Bear And Friends).

Of course she is.

Of course it’s a children’s book!

GOOP is the best mother ever!

She’s so great at mothering, she’s now in a position to tell YOU how to mother!

Yes, the latest GOOP newsletter focuses on parenting. You know me, why would I care? Well, she tells me I should care because you “do not need to have children to benefit from these amazing insights. Simply regard yourself as the child we are asking about, no matter your age, and see what comes up for you.”

Great. Now Gwyneth Paltrow wants me to raise myself.


I skimmed it but lost interest very quickly. Right brain, front brain, left brain, nurturing, toddler taming…ugh. Why can’t we just talk sh-t about that woman down the block who has the wrong stroller and takes her kids to McDonald’s instead? I’m such a judgy bitch. Maybe I should have a baby after all.

Anyway, there is one part that stuck out that would probably get the Brange all hot and bothered, and not in the porn way either. From one of G’s “wise” parenting gurus:

We have this knowledge because our ability to scan the human brain has allowed us a closer look and a greater understanding. It is due to this knowledge that the single most important element in a child’s development has come to be recognized as exposure to consistent loving care, which is imparted to the child through their attachment to a mother or father figure. Ideally, it should be their biological caretakers, but it can be any parent substitute who is loving, caring and consistent.

Maybe I’m reading it wrong – this is very possible because the entire issue is making me want to nap – but the word “ideal” implies a comparison with biological coming out on top. Potentially rather inflammatory, non?

Or not.


Ready to be enlightened? Click here for GOOPy’s Guide to Parenting.

And attached – Gwyneth looking rough and haggard today in London. Better form at the Grammys this weekend, ok G? Great coat.

PS. You can see her Kab string!!!

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com