Click here if you missed my post on Monday about what Vanity Fair’s Graydon Carter had to say about Gwyneth Paltrow trying to cockblock his magazine from featuring her. And click here for my post from way back in June when I was the first to report that it would be Vanessa Grigoriadis writing the article. Sorry. Boasting over.

But Graydon is such a magnificent bitch, non?

Because the story has been everywhere this week: Graydon Carter hints at Gwyneth Paltrow slam-piece; Graydon Carter to take down Gwyneth Paltrow!

So…how does Graydon Carter respond?

Well, there’s been no denial and there is no backpedaling. Instead?

This is what showed up on Vanity Fair’s Instagram yesterday:

And the day before, when the Graydon vs Gwyneth feud coverage was picking up momentum, Vanity Fair posted a Gwyneth Paltrow retrospective on its website. Click here to see it.

He’s TAUNTING her. Graydon Carter is taunting Gwyneth Paltrow. He is a c-nt. And WE LOVE HIM FOR IT. Because can you imagine PEOPLE Magazine doing this? Of course not. VOGUE would never. Rarely does a magazine of Vanity Fair’s stature take the aggressive, f-ck you, we’re the press and you can’t tell us what to do approach with celebrities, especially not celebrities with Gwyneth Paltrow’s profile. Most editors and journalists are forced to sit in a corner with the dicks in their hands waiting for permission to get hard. But Graydon Carter must have sensed some weakness in G’s privilege. He claims “She forced my hand”. You could also say he’s stubborn enough to not just walk away from a fight.

But could all this have been avoided? I read an article yesterday at the NY Times bout Rush & Molloy, the pre-eminent gossip columnists of the 90s and early 2000s, before the internet took gossip to the next level and social media changed the gossip landscape. Rush & Molloy wrote for The Daily News and had access to some of the smuttiest sh-t of that era. Now, retired from the gossip business, they’re telling stories. It’s a book called Scandal: A Manual, and they recall some of their biggest breaks and a few of their biggest non-breaks.

Like the time they were about to report that Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt were dating. But Julia called Molloy and asked him to kill it. She pleaded with him to bury the exclusive so that she and Benjamin could enjoy their first days of romance together undisturbed. He agreed. She sent flowers.

Maybe Gwyneth should have sent flowers?

But G is not Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts, as sanctimonious and ME ME ME as she is, is a scrappy, pragmatic baller. Julia didn’t have it all at the beginning. Julia clawed her way there. Julia knows how to get dirty. Sometimes dirty involves a shank. But dirty can also be a case of champagne and a few well-timed, well placed favours. Julia and Graydon Carter come from the same world.

The problem with G is that she doesn’t know the game of civilians. She’s only played with people on the top floor. She’s not used to having to WORK at what she wants. What she wants normally materialises right in front of her often before she realises that she actually wants it. Graydon Carter wouldn’t give her what she wants, not without something in return. It’s an easy fix if you’re someone like Julia – one thing in exchange for another – but Gwyneth refuses to go to that level. She thinks she’s above that level. Clearly Graydon Carter doesn’t agree. And we get to watch!

“I’ve known my whole life that this was going to happen. Fame is a pre-destined thing.”