So as you know, Gwyneth appears on Oprah tomorrow (Wednesday) with Mario Batali to promote their food show Spain…On The Road Again. Shot last year, 13 cities, eating and drinking across Spain… that was their job.

Bitches.

Of course Gwyneth talks to Opes about her body and her diet – she says she can’t diet. That it’s not in her constitution. That she can’t not eat something just because it’s not allowed. She explains that if she had to follow a diet, she’d probably end up being 300 lbs.

Instead, Gwynnie just works harder at the gym so she can eat what she wants.

Keep in mind, she’s yapping about all this while wearing black leggings, sky high heels, her arms lean, her legs even leaner, and longer, complaining about the extra 20 she couldn’t lose after Moses.

It’s nauseating. She is nauseating.

Because she is perfect. And she will never pretend that she’s not. Which is why I love her. I love that she will never try to sell me on being my friend. That’s Jennifer Aniston’s fraud game.

Gwyneth?

Would never be my friend.

This is why I want so badly to be hers.

Click here to view 2 clips from her visit to Oprah.

As for Mario Batali – he says the Gwynnie we see on the show is the “real” Gwyneth: "Funny, and likes her food."

I HAVE to watch.

In Canada…where will it air? Do you know? Tell me!