She is, after all, totally English now.

It was announced last week – a new production of King Lear is underway with Sir Anthony Hopkins as the title character, my Gwyneth as Regan, and Keira Knightley as Cordelia. But of course it’s Keira Knightley as Cordelia.

Can’t Keira ever play the villain? Just once???

Am looking forward to watching Gwyneth be hateful. Regan is truly one of the baddest bitches on the block. And just because I know it grabs your goat to read anything positive about her: you know, Anthony Hopkins, one of the most distinguished actors in the business, once said that that he’s worked with “two great actresses: Jodie Foster and Gwyneth Paltrow”. He went on to describe them both as “spectacular” and Gwyneth as “the most brilliant actress I have ever worked with”.

Are you gouging your eyes out with a stiletto?

Anthony and Gwyneth are reunited for King Lear. Can’t wait. But please, please…please don’t let them change the ending and make it all “Hollywood”. When he carries her lifeless body, burdened at once with grief and the weight of his own folly, I lose my sh*t every time.