It’s Mario Batali. They went to Spain together and he claims she eats a lot of his food. No doubt, Mario is heavy. And you know the GOOP. Being heavy is unacceptable. Reports Page Six:

"Mario is the only fat friend she has, and wants him to change."

You can’t roll with Gwyneth Paltrow unless you’re under size 6. Maybe size 6 would be even too much. To Madonna it is. So G has given Mario a free membership to her gym – the one she’s launching with her trainer Tracy Anderson – and he won’t have to pay the initiation fee ($4,500) or the monthly installments in the hopes that he’ll stop embarrassing her and lose some weight.

It’s actually quite compassionate, at least in comparison to Karl Lagerfeld who’d order any fat friend of his to cut off their own flesh pound for pound and turn it into an art installation called “Fat Is Not Possible”.

Anyway, photos attached of G picking up her kids at school the other day in LA. Can’t wait for you judgy moms to start criticising her for letting almost 5 year old Apple suck her thumb.

Also the new GOOP has been sent out. Click here. Recipes again. Ugh. Why can’t she profile another frenemy? I want to hear about why she stopped being Harvey Weinstein’s golden girl.

Have you checked out my friend Dan Levy’s DOOP yet? Dan is currently in Barbados interviewing Kelly Clarkson. Lucky bitch.

Photos from