Both PEOPLE  and US Weekly have gone Gwyneth this week on their covers with similar stories. Basically Gwyneth sucks. She was intolerable. She was too glamorous but also insecure about aging and staying skinny and feeling desirable and Chris Martin preferred wearing t-shirts and couldn’t deal with her anxieties and that’s why they couldn’t work.

According to PEOPLE’s sources Gwyneth was “flirting and trying to feel 'sexy' so she could feel that 'her beauty was not fleeting”. Her “narcissism” is what caused them to drift apart. Because Chris didn’t want the attention. And US Weekly reports that they were fighting over the kids’ diet and how she would sh-t on him for the kind of food he eats.

The subtle suggestion then is that her intolerable lifestyle pushed him to infidelity. But she didn’t care because she cheated too. So then they just decided it would be an open marriage. PEOPLE apparently goes ahead and names the men she allegedly carried on with – Kevin Yorn, Jeffrey Soffer, and, ahem, Glee producer Brad Falchuk.

That’s not fair, but then again, “fair” has always been on Gwyneth’s side, until now.

A year ago, PEOPLE called her The World’s Most Beautiful Woman. 9 months later they don’t give a f-ck about celebrity revenge and they’re going hard for G. Aren’t they afraid of G? Why should they be? If the MiniVan Majority loves to hate Gwyneth Paltrow, this is the narrative they want to believe. And that’s where PEOPLE gets its power anyway. Has the MiniVan Majority taken G’s power? Forget the broken marriage, don’t you think that that’s what will hurt the most?