I like Hailee Steinfeld’s song Starving. It is hummable, it is not asking anything of me. I have read great reviews of The Edge of Seventeen, including Sarah’s. I will watch it when I can find it on on demand.

But I will not abide this dress. She is 20 years old. 20 damn years old!!! Why the f-ck is she dressed like a bridesmaid? Scratch that – I don’t know any bridesmaid who has had it this bad. This is some Vera Wang bullsh-t. We always blame the stars for the dresses, but we rarely talk about the stylists or the designers who create a bullsh-t vortex, fanning around a 20-year-old and filling her head with nonsense like this dress. Someone should have stopped it.

Where to begin? The color is hideous. I hate the sheer top, the gathered and sheer cold shoulder sleeves, whatever is going on around her boobs, the split hem skirt. This is bad prom. Even the jewellery choices suck – the diamond necklace frames the neckline in a way that make it looks like it’s sewn into the dress. It’s garish.

And no one warned her. Not one person on her team was like, “Girl… no.” This worries me. Who is she surrounding herself with?

Hailee Steinfeld was nominated for The Edge of Seventeen, that’s what the conversation should be about. Instead I’m yelling about the shoes, my god, the f-cking shoes. Who still wears strappy satin platforms? I’m sure they cost a fortune and are designer but that doesn’t negate the fact that they are ugly and entirely too old for her!

Look, she’s 20. We all make big, giant mistakes at 20. What irks me about this look is that it’s so unimaginative. A group of professional adults looked at her and thought, “purple Vera Wang.